Ever heard the expression “this looks like a dog’s lunch”? It connotes a certain hot mess of a meal, dog vom, basically. Dogs will happily eat anything. Which is why I’m so upset by the recent upsurge in commercials implying you’re a horrible dog parent if you feed your dog anything but filet mignon and caviar.
The commercial I’m specifically thinking of is the one for a dog food brand called Buffalo Blue. The commercial opens with a group of women in a dog training class detailing the horror of checking the first ingredient in their dog’s food. Corn gluten, one sniffs. Chicken byproduct meal, says another, while rolling her eyes. The trainer tells them, Oh, you have to check to make sure you really know what you’re feeding your dog, implying that these women are clearly substandard pet owners because of their pet food choice (despite the fact that they’ve invested time and money into a training class. But I digress). Caesar has a similar commercial, where a woman and her dog, Maggie, seek out the best ingredients at a farmers market (she uses the phrase “We ask Joe about the best bread” which really, bitch, I would like to know how your dog participates in asking Joe about his bread and how fresh it is) and she only serves Maggie the best because she deserves the best. Cut to the shot of the Caesar food being served to Maggie and it looks a hell of a lot better than the cereal I ate for dinner last night. It has PASTA in it. BOW TIE FUCKING PASTA.
What. The. Fuck.
I’m all for making sure your dog eats nutritiously and never goes hungry but fuck me, do we really need to buy into this “only the best for my dog” entitlement bullshit? Is there some kind of dog food hierarchy in the dog park, where one can tell by the shite of another one how low-grade its food is and subsequently shun it? No. Is there a secret hierarchy among dog owners who turn their noses down at another owner who feeds their dog kibble made with *GASP* chicken byproduct meal? No.
Your dog is a dog. It does not care how you feed it, it cares how you love it. It cares that you put a roof over its head, take it for a walk, and give it belly rubs on the regular. Dogs do not have high standards. They eat other animals’ shit (nothing says “stay the fuck away from me” like horfing down some cat poo from the litter box and running downstairs for a cuddle. Thanks Dave). It is not a status symbol to spend more on your dog’s food per meal than you do on yours. It is a sign of insanity. If you can afford to feed your dog 12oz of kobe beef-fed lobster each night and you do, then you’ve got problems. I suspect this whole “movement” stems from the special little snowflake generation’s belief that they “deserve” the best (despite having done little or nothing to earn the best), and so do their dogs.
Feed your dog, but ignore the hype. Your dog (and wallet) will thank you when you do.
