Want to make your Wednesday evenings ten times more entertaining? Want to make yourself feel better about the fact you’re watching TLC? Well, do I have the solution for you.
Behold, the Toddlers & Tiaras drinking game. Make sure you have a large drink and do NOT attempt during a T&T marathon. You have been warned.Take a drink when …
Anything makes a game participant gasp in shock.
A pageant girl is referred to as 1) a princess, 2) a diva, or 3) Jesus (drink x3 if there is a framed picture of the child next to a framed picture of Jesus)
A kid screams & squirms while getting something pageant required while their parent simultaneously states they “love it”
A pageant mom makes a flippant remark about how much pageants cost
A pageant child gets any of the following at a professional salon. Drink x2 if the child is under the age of five. CHUG if all of the treatments are received.
- highlights
- a haircut
- manicure/pedicure
- massage
The camera pans uncomfortably across the panel of judges (drink x2 for each bone-chillingly-creepy judge)
The pageant child’s father expresses disdain that his child is in a pageant, but doesn’t do anything about it
A pageant contestant is described as “The Total Package“
A pageant contestant is clearly favoured over other siblings. Drink x5 if that other sibling is an identical twin.
A pageant mom does every single move of a child’s routine out in the audience along with her child
And finally, CHUG your drink if you see a baby. In a pageant. Chug two full drinks if there are comments about the baby’s alleged “personality”
Crowning. Just drink everything. Because it references the birthing of a baby (which, conveniently, can be placed in the soonest pageant)
The famous pageant dad shows up and insists all his handmade costumes are THE. BEST. EVER.
I would have had liver damage from last week’s show, true story.
Can we add “drink a whole pitcher” if the pageant dad (the infamous one) comes on and talks about how he makes their outfits at home and how they’re the best?
Done!
I caught an episode of this a while back, and it filled me with such disgust and loathing for those parents.
Some people should never be allowed to breed.
so much gasping… so many drinks… so drunk after one episode…